Posted By Phylicia on April 17, 2010 | 3 Comments

I have decided that there are a lot of books in the world.

I was at Barnes and Noble (aka Heaven) last night  just perusing the different aisles with my friend Angela. Title after title on war, peace, love, relationships, food, fasting, politics, music… every aspect of life, from the minute to the world-shaking, was discoverable.

I feel the same way at homeschool or Christian conferences; all those books for young women and men, ready to make us successful in life! I feel that there are more resources out there for girls than there are for guys; books on purity, waiting, dating, courtship, beauty, fashion, modesty… you name it, it’s out there.  There are so many conflicting perspectives, so many different takes on the same subject, that it’s hard to decide which to believe and which to buy!

The intricacies of life can be so overwhelming. We read books on true beauty to make ourselves less insecure.  We read books on relationships without one even on the horizon.  We read books on homemaking when we have a talent we’re afraid to use.  We read books on careers when we’re dissatisfied with being at home.  Of course, we do read books for the right motives too. But deep down, all the self-help we go to won’t address that greatest need.

Many of the books we buy address an outward manifestation of an inward problem. For instance, we read books on beauty and fashion because we are insecure about how we look.  Or, we read books about courtship or dating because we are consumed with a future relationship.  Rather than helping us, these books just feed the issue that initiated the reading in the first place.

It’s not the books’ fault. Often, we don’t even recognize what we are doing by reading them. These are good books to be reading, it is good information for life — but the question is:  Is this good information for my life, right now?

Many of the books we read don’t reach that deep-rooted need within the heart of every woman. They address our distraction, our emotions, our actions, and our words, but not always the reason we are acting the way we are.  I think there are three main struggles for women of all ages, but specifically for young women in today’s culture.  These three struggles are the ultimate reason we seek to change our outward character.

These are dicontent, insecurity, and hurt.

I know I have felt the pain of all of these in my own life, and I am sure many of my readers have as well. All of us have struggled with one of them at one time or another. Yet often we don’t realize that they are the cause behind our actions, and rather than address the disease, we only try to squelch the symptoms.

I know a girl here at Liberty who cannot take a compliment.  It’s not because she is rude; it’s because she is insecure. Yet she feels that it would be proud to accept a compliment on herself when her ’self’ isn’t comparable to the beauty of the world.  What a lie! Yet she consistently operates in that belief.  Should we give her a book on biblical modesty and fashion? Obviously there is a much deeper rooted issue at hand. She is insecure about her beauty, and reading about fashion will only frustrate her further when things don’t fit the way she thinks they should.

Or consider the girl who has dated multiple men since she came to school.  None of them are the kind she would have married, but that doesn’t matter to her at the time.  She seeks the attention and the ’status’ of having a boyfriend, because if she is without one she fears she will never find the right man. Should we judge her harshly and tell her to read up on courtship?  There is a bigger problem here. She is not content being alone, and is probably insecure as well. Her dating habits aren’t what needs to be addressed.  There is a motive behind her actions.

Lastly, what of the girl who met a man, one she thought was godly and trustworthy, and gave her heart to him?  What do we say to her when he proves to be less than he seemed, leaving her heart crushed and broken? Do we tell her that she was wrong to let her heart go that far, and thrust into her hands a book on emotional purity?  This woman is hurt. Her need is compassion; someone who understands. She is bitter and angry externally because of the bleeding wound inside.

A girl’s greatest need is not satisfied by correcting the problems of her outward character. When the inner need is satisfied, flowing out from that satisfaction is a joy and peace that does not come by works alone. What a girl needs most is the antidote to discontent, insecurity, and hurt: Contentment, confidence, and comfort.  These are not found in self-help books.  They are found in Christ.

This is the thesis of the current series I am working on. Readers advise:  Does this sound like something girls could use?  Comments welcome!

Category: Godly Womanhood

Tags: Biblical womanhood, Christ, comfort, confidence, contentment, girls, godliness, women

Posted By Phylicia on April 17, 2010 | 1 Comment

Once again, with the hectic pace of exams and studies, I have neglected this blog.  I see it every day on my home page and say, “Boy, I have to get back to that…” and then remember the four tests that week. Guess what gets the attention? My GPA beats out my views per day, I am afraid!

I do hope (fingers crossed) to get back to writing on here regularly. There are a lot of ideas spinning in my head that I may try out on here, my experimental writing lab. Lately I have been doing most of my brainstorming handwritten and will perhaps get it up here soon.

I am working on four book ideas.  Yes, four. I am thinking of trying them out on you. The first three are a ’series’ of sorts — a nonfiction set of books directed toward teenage girls. These will address what I think are the most monumental struggles girls have — both Christian and non. The last book is also for girls, and will be outlining ideas for how young women can make the most of their lives in whatever capacity God has led them to do so, giving practical ideas for education, skills, jobs, and life in general.

Lord willing I’ll get past my illegible notes.

Category: Personally...

Posted By Phylicia on February 8, 2010 | 6 Comments

“How in heaven’s name does she walk in those?!”

We were standing in the hall of DeMoss, the main academic building on Liberty’s campus.  My roommate and I watched in horror as a pretty brunette awkwardly toddled down the hall in four inch stilettos.  ”What’s the point?” sighed Lyndsey.  ”Her feet are going to be so sore tonight, and all because she had to look like that while walking between classes.”  ”She’s probably insecure,” I said sadly.  ”Her identity is wrapped up in those shoes!”  That made us both laugh, and we continued on to our classes.  But it made me think, too.

I have often been just like the girl in stilettos.  My security has been completely dependent upon how I look, what my grades are, who talks to me in the hall, or a host of other nominal things.  My pride is the motivator for the clothes I choose, the paper I write, and the conversations I engage in.  Thus, I awkwardly toddle down the hall of life, hoping the pain is worth the attention.

The Pharisees in Matthew 23 had a similar problem, and Jesus addressed it harshly.  I had never read this passage before, but came across it in my reading a few days ago.  It is the prologue, if you will, to Jesus’ sermon of the ‘Seven Woes’:

“The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat, so practice and observe whatever they tell you — but not what they do.  For they preach, but do not practice… they do all their deeds to be seen by others.  For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others.”  (Mt. 23:2-7)

There are four aspects of this verse to observe, bolded in the above passage.  These four faults of the Pharisees, I discovered, are just as apparent in my own life.  They are still at work in our hearts today.

Notice first that Jesus addresses the Pharisees’ appearance. The phylacteries Jesus refers to were small boxes which enclosed small vellum versions of God’s commandments, according to the words of Deuteronomy 6:8:

“You shall bind them (God’s words) as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.”

The Pharisees took more pride in the appearance of religion than the actual practice of it.  The phylacteries were a symbol of piety, emphasizing how spiritual a person was to keep God’s commandments with him always.  However, while the Pharisees had the exterior in order, the interior of their hearts was in shambles.

For further emphasis, Jesus addressed the ‘fringes’ the Pharisees wore — tassels at each edge of their garment that, according to Numbers 15:38, were to serve as reminders of God’s commands.  The Pharisees were so consumed with the appearance of godliness that they neglected God altogether.

Secondly, Jesus pointed out that the Pharisees love the place of honor at feasts — they were attached to their status. The position they held, originally intended to be a guide of godliness to the Jewish people, instead served for them as an opportunity to gain power and prestige.  The status they held gave them control, which, combined with pride and selfishness, further sunk them into a hardened state against the God they claimed to serve.

Third, the Pharisees loved attention. They adored being greeted in the marketplaces.  Who doesn’t love that?  I know when I am in the grocery store I love to see people I know; sometimes I have even found myself taking pride in how many people I know in one given shopping trip!  How ridiculous.  Rather than delighting in the people themselves, our  nature delights in the attention we receive.

Finally, Jesus addresses the Pharisees’ love of their label. Closely connected to status, the title ‘rabbi’ meant ‘teacher’, and was considered a form of respect.  Can you picture the Pharisees, walking through the marketplace, fingering the tassles on their prayer shawl and reveling in every greeting of ‘Rabbi’ they received?  Consider how much glory God received from their attitude:  none!

So how does this apply to us, young women of God?  Today we struggle just as the Pharisees did.  We have the same four loves of appearance, status, attention, and label. How are these conquered?

“The greatest among you shall be your servant.  Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” (Mt. 23:11-12)

The answer is humility. Humility has no need of the approval of other people, which is the root of all the Pharisees’ problems.  Pride and self-love need that appearance, status, and attention to be secure.  Humility finds its security in Christ, and because of this, is free to be whoever Christ created her to be.

So what is the motivation for the stilettos?  Are you toddling down the hall in pain because you want people to pay you attention?  Give up the appearance of godliness and seek the real thing, and you won’t just walk through life without worry, you might even run.

Category: Christianity

Tags: appearance, attention, label, pain, Pharisees, status, stiletto

Posted By Phylicia on February 6, 2010 | No Comments

Spring arrives late in Michigan — it creeps up out of layers of snow somewhere in the end of April or early May.  Sometimes the snow sticks around until late May, lingering in the flower beds or underneath layers of dirt in the pasture.  The first ride of the spring is always eventful; trying to catch horses that have been lying fallow for five months is never easy.  Once a horse is accustomed to freedom from bit and bridle he of course won’t want to go back to it.

That first ride is usually a little rough.  The horses won’t go or they won’t stop; they buck and twist out from under you; they bolt for no reason and spook at shadows.  They don’t want to obey in any fashion whatsoever.  They want to cling to their freedom.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”  (Galatians 5:1)

Freedom is a wonderful but often misunderstood concept.  For many, freedom means the opportunity to do whatever one desires.  This is so for a horse — an animal with no soul and no moral compass.  However, the animalistic, natural desire to follow whatever we choose is not true freedom.  If this were so, Paul’s words to the Galatians would make no sense!  If we are free before Christ’s sacrifice, then what happened afterwards?

The horse, running wild in the field, may be beautiful, but he serves no purpose except to gratify himself.  He eats, he drinks, he runs, he mates, and he does it all over again.  Outside of his own desires he has no purpose.  But when a man takes that horse and trains it, taking those natural desires and bridling them, the horse becomes something so much more beautiful because it fulfills a purpose in life.

Christ set us free for freedom. He didn’t take it away from us.  Like the trainer, he sees a potential in us that we can never see for ourselves.  Before that potential can be realized, however, the horse has to be broken of his stubborn will and bent to the will of his master.  If he returns to his former state (by being out of use for the winter months) he will have to go through the whole process again.

Consider how this applies to us.  Christ set us free so that in his freedom we could realize all the potential in our lives.  We don’t always see beyond our immediate desires, but he does.  Don’t go back to where you were before!  Submit yourself to the will of our Master and let him show you what true freedom feels like.

Category: Bible Studies

Posted By Phylicia on January 31, 2010 | No Comments

After one semester spent practicing on Liberty’s equestrian team, I began praying about a ministry for girls that allowed them some participation with the animals I love so much.  Now in this semester, I have decided to start up a small study for girls on the campus to attend.  It’s very informal, but it will combine some teaching about the horse itself and the art and science of horsemanship with Biblical concepts pertinent to the girls’ lives.

The relationship between the horse and rider is a good analogy to our relationship with God.  Just as the horse is gradually trained to be in tune to its rider’s desires, so we are developed by the Lord to be most effective for him.  The more rebellious a horse is, the longer the training process — whether the trainer decides to ‘gentle’ or ‘break’ him.

I am so excited to see the study begin, small as it may be!  Please pray that it would be a blessing to the girls and that I would be able to bring some joy to their lives through this.

Category: Bible Studies

Tags: Bible study, equestrian, horses

Posted By Phylicia on January 20, 2010 | No Comments

 For some reason my blog won’t let my pictures show up, whether I save them to my hard drive or not.  Thus, the next few posts will be picture-free for a while.  Please pardon the plain appearance!

Today we had our first convocation for the semester, and speaking was Jonathan Falwell, the pastor of Thomas Road Baptist Church and son of Dr. Jerry Falwell.  For this semester I have registered for a three-hour night class on prayer, so I have been thinking on that subject a little bit lately.  Imagine my surprise and happiness when that is precislely what Pastor Jonathan spoke about today!

He began with a quote from Dr. Jerry Falwell, founder of Liberty University and Thomas Road Baptist Church:

“Nothing of eternal significance is ever accomplished apart from prayer.”

His passage was Mark 9, which depicts the scene of Jesus and the demon possessed boy.  Key to Pastor Jonathan’s point was verse 29:

“This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”

In that verse, Jesus is answering his disciples’ query as to why they could not cast the demon out of the boy.  The answer was:  they didn’t prepare.  The disciples went merrily out to do God’s work but did not have his power enabling them to accomplish it.

Rev. Falwell said, “Jesus gives us the authority to accomplish things of eternal significance but we need ability as well, which only comes through prayer and fasting.”  The only way to see miracles accomplished in and through our lives is to go to the Source of them through prayer.  The only way to stretch our faith is through prayer.  God works in our lives when we trust him to do so!

In Mark 9:19, Jesus says to the father of the boy, “Bring him to me.”  That is the call he has for us today.  He tells us to bring all of our cares to him and trust that he will work them for good — meanwhile being obedient and diligent in the place he has for us.  Pastor Jonathan’s final point was this:

A life focused on prayer is a life given to rest.

Rest is what God has for us.  We don’t need to worry, we need to pray.

Category: Christianity

Tags: boy, demons, faith, Falwell, Mark 9, prayer