For as long as I can remember the word ‘fellowship’ brought to mind coffee, donuts, maybe a potluck or two, and the presence of Christian friends or the church family.  Whatever the case, it involved food and people (when I moved to Virginia I fit right in with the Baptists).

In reading a pamphlet by Michael Pearl, The Protestant Confessional, I came to a new understanding of fellowship.  The pamphlet was on 1 John, specifically 1 John 1:9, which says:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

But prior to that pivotal verse John writes in verse 3:

…that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you may have fellowship with us, and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.

He can’t mean we are having lunch with the Trinity, so what is the true definition of fellowship?  According to Michael Pearl, ‘fellowship’ means to have a share in something.  Historically, when two people bought a plot of land together, they each had a share, or a fellowship, in that land.  They were partial owners and therefore receivers of the harvest the land would yield.

Verse three takes on a different tone when we replace the word ‘fellowship’ with its original concept of shared partnership:

…that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you have a share with us, and indeed our partnership is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.

Fellowship is not social interaction coupled with great food; it is much weightier.  Our fellowship with each other is not founded on the events we attend or the desserts we bring, but our ’share’ in Jesus Christ.  Adopted as sons of God upon salvation, we are fellow heirs in the inheritance of Christ:

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying “Abba! Father!”  So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.  (Gal. 4:4-7)

Our fellowship with Christ determines how we fellowship with others.  If we truly have a share in Christ, then as Paul wrote in Galatians, His Spirit dwells in us and will exude a Christ-like character that reflects the fellowship we have with Him.  No more gossip at the church potluck!

It’s a new perspective on what fellowship truly is.  It may change the way we throw the word around… it’s not something for Sunday afternoon.  It’s a way of life.

With every desire comes the need to reconcile personal urgency and God’s timing.  It’s human nature to ‘want what I want and want it NOW’.  How often do we feel that if we don’t have our hearts’ desire fulfilled ASAP that it will never come to fruition at all?  I know I have felt that way.  I often picture God at these times with a patient smile on his face, watching my own face contort with anxiety as I worry over when, where, and how:  “My Child, where is your faith?”

Today in my ladies’ bible study, Discerning the Voice of God (by Priscilla Shirer), Priscilla talked about the desires of our hearts.  She quoted the life verse of my high school years, a verse I still treasure very much:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.   (Psalm 37:4)

When I was young I thought that this meant if I spent as much time as possible with the Lord, and truly made him my joy, then he would give me the things I wanted out of life.  This is partially true.  Yet there is a greater concept hidden in this verse, one that Priscilla brought to light:  as we seek God, making him our utmost priority, he changes the desires of our hearts to fit his will for our lives.

No matter what our desires are, if we refuse to relinquish them to God this indicates the same effect on our character:  worship of the desire, rather than of Christ.  We cling to our hopes and dreams because we are afraid that if we give them up God will never give them back. This is not true.  Not all of our desires need be changed.  But it is not for us to decide which need changing and which remain the same; our duty is to seek the Lord with all our heart, mind and strength, allowing him to do with our dreams as he will.

So many people long to know ‘the will of God’; yet I wonder how many actually yield their hearts’ desires up to him for his purposes.  I know I refused him many times.  We think we know what we want and that submitting our longings to God will result in never seeing them come to fruition.  This is fear.  God cannot work with fear, but he can work with faith!

This is the truth:  God has a will for each of us.  If we intend to follow his will we have to seek him, know him, hear him, and obey him.  By doing this we draw so close to God that our heart is united to his, and our desires naturally change to fit his plan for our life.  It isn’t painful and sudden; it is a gradual transformation of our heart’s atmosphere.  The painful part can be the initial decision to surrender.

If anyone would come after me, let her deny herself and take up her cross and follow me.  For whoever would save her life will lose it, but whoever loses her life for my sake will find it. (Matt. 16:24-25)

In order to have ‘that which is truly life’ (1 Tim. 6:19) we have to give up that which we think is life.  Faith believes that God’s will for us is better than anything we can manufacture ourselves.  Faith makes the desires of the heart come true.

Speaking on Flirtation

In a sexual culture, in which dating is extremely physical and the constant barrage of music and television only encourage such behavior, people really do seek an alternative.  At the same time, however, they are prepared to doubt and shoot down any idea they view as ‘too extreme’.  They will want results — but not sacrifice.

When talking about purity to and in the world, we cannot present the message as we can to our fellow Christian girls.  Christians have the responsibility to walk in purity: thus, when speaking to girls who have made the committment to Christ and to keep themselves pure, I challenge them.  They know the facts, they know the answers, they know what to do — now it is up to them to keep on track.  I don’t need to pussy-foot around them, because they are strong enough to stand on their own.

Girls of the world, however sad it may sound, are innocent of purity.  They know nothing of modesty, true femininity, or the beauty of a pure heart.  Their hardened faces and hearts are the product of pain and anguish that those of us raised in Christian homes may have never experienced.  What I see happening, too often, is a lack of compassion from ‘the pure girls’ for those who know no better.

Legalism.  Arrogance.  A haughty face and whispered words.  Unwillingness to greet the ‘immodest girl’ who attends church for the first time.  These are not attributes of the beautiful, loving woman God desires us to be, and even worse, there is nothing attractive about the ‘pure girl’ who possesses these attitudes.  Why would someone want any part of that for himself?

When I was twelve we left the church we had attended all my life.  My parents were married there.  Following that came a period of three years where we church-hopped, seeking one that fit our family.  As we went church to church, I went to only one where a girl approached me and asked my name.  Only one.  When we finally found a church of our own, I resolved to be that girl — no matter how uncomfortable it was.  I had hated the feeling of lonliness, watching the little cliques moving about the sanctuary, without hope of breaking in.  I didn’t want other girls to feel that way.

Now I ask you girls — and guys too — are you presenting a message of purity as unattainable?  Are you making purity seem arrogant, undesirable, and unapproachable?  Those weighed down by a guilty conscience will be looking for ways to judge and condemn the walk of purity.  Give them no reason to condemn!  Kindness and love go much further than legalism and a false sense of pride.  Remember, we are all sinners.  Left to myself I would probably be just like those ‘other’ girls.  Out of this recognition, I can maintain a spirit of compassion.

Compassion influences our actions and our words.  If there is one thing I have learned, it is that a condescending message turns away our society faster than you can say Sam Hill.  In countering this, many pastors and teachers make the mistake of watering down the message itself to tickle the ears of listeners.  This is wrong!  The message must remain the same — but the messenger, and the presentation, may change to fit the listener and the situation.

So many young men and women need to know the alternative to what they suffer through.  They don’t have answers, or hope, or a future — and we can give them all that.  Give kindly… and speak softly, with love.

“Say to the daughter of Zion, “Behold, your salvation comes; behold, His reward is with Him, and His recompense before Him.  And they shall be called the Holy People, The Redeemed of the Lord, and you shall be called Sought Out, A City Not Forsaken.”"  (Is. 62:11-12)

“Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice.” (Ps. 55:17)

What is so amazing about the Christian faith?  It is the fact that our God takes an interest in us.  More than an interest — He has a relationship with us.  My favorite part of relationships is the fact that we can talk to each other — about each other, with each other!  And that is what we can do with God.  I am learning to talk to Him about everything.  My family has told me recently that I tend to talk a little too much at home — and that is understandable, as I am a very talkative person.  So rather than dominate their time, I have begun telling God about my day… all the details that might bore anybody else.  And He listens.  And He guides.  As I tell him what happened at work I might feel in my heart something saying, “You could have handled yourself better in that situation,” or maybe “I was proud of you then.”  God is always accessible to us through prayer. 

Unfortunately for Christians, I don’t think they take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to converse with their Creator.  Many people (like me) will just throw in a five minute prayer in the morning and call it good.  And it is.  But what we miss when we don’t stay, and talk to him longer!  It’s like cutting a conversation short with a good friend, and never discovering his dreams, plans, hopes, and loves.  You are missing out on who He really is.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”  (Phil. 4:6-7)

Not only are we blessed with the privilege to talk to God whenever, wherever and however we wish, but we are also guaranteed His peace to guard our minds.  I know that His protection of my thoughts is necessary, because that is where sin will always begin for me.  As the Guardian of our minds, and the Bearer of our burdens, we are free to be “anxious for nothing” and obtain the peace of God… a peace that surpasses understanding!

I would encourage my readers in one thing, and that is to pray diligently.  What I do, and what I suggest for other young women, is that you begin your day with prayer.  I used to get up at 6:30 and decide to read and pray for one hour.  I made a prayer list, based on one in Sarah Mally’s book Before You Meet Prince Charming (Very good, by the way!), and would pray for five minutes on each topic.  After three weeks it became the highlight of my day — my mornings were precious to me.  And all throughout the ensuing hours He was ever there to guide me.  But keep in mind that the Enemy is ready to attack, and his best tools are discouragement and distraction.  Be wary; protect your prayer time, but be sure that whenever, wherever or however you do it, that you PRAY!  His ears are always open.

“For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers…” (1 Pet. 3:12)