This is an old post that I discovered in my Drafts folder.  I was leaving Thanksgiving break at the time of writing.

I am sitting in the airport terminal about an hour and half from home, waiting for my plane.  I can’t believe that my Thanksgiving break went so quickly!  My mom and two sisters dropped me off and it was hard not to cry — even though I am going to be gone only three weeks before my next break.  I wasn’t homesick till I went home…

I missed my siblings.  The four younger ones grew about seven inches collectively (Ella is topped out now at 5′9″), so everyone was much bigger than when I left!  I doubt they will grow much in the next three weeks but it’s still going to be a while without the family… my loud, rambunctious, fun-times family!

I talk about a lot of things on this blog, but one of them I don’t cover often is family life.  How do you treat your family?  How do they treat you?  Whether you were homeschooled, Christian or public schooled, your family is who you return to at the end of the day.  They will always be there no matter what happens in your life.  They are your greatest connection.  Too often, though, we treat these family members the worst.

My siblings irritated me, and I irritated them, when I lived at home 24/7.  Even now, we managed to get in a few spats in one week under the same roof.  When you combine so many different personalities those kinds of arguments are inevitable.  But in the long run, conflict in a family can either draw it closer together or push each member away.  Some conflicts result in deep feelings of bitterness held for years against a sibling or parent.  This is not so in my family — mostly thanks to my dad, who made sure those arguments didn’t fester for long periods of time.  But without dad, it is up to each of us to decide whether to forgive and keep the family in unity or to hold a grudge… and destroy the best friends we are supposed to have.

I think I can safely say now that my siblings are my best friends.  It helps that we have all grown older.  We don’t pull hair and poke eyes like we used to (most of the time).  I think I am very blessed to have the siblings I have.  I know they put up with a lot in the form of me. That’s something to be grateful for in itself!

Ask yourself today if you consider your sibs friends or enemies.  Whichever you decide, why did you choose that one?  What can be made better?  Remember that friends come and go, but family is forever.  Make that ‘forever’ as enjoyable as possible!

With every desire comes the need to reconcile personal urgency and God’s timing.  It’s human nature to ‘want what I want and want it NOW’.  How often do we feel that if we don’t have our hearts’ desire fulfilled ASAP that it will never come to fruition at all?  I know I have felt that way.  I often picture God at these times with a patient smile on his face, watching my own face contort with anxiety as I worry over when, where, and how:  “My Child, where is your faith?”

Today in my ladies’ bible study, Discerning the Voice of God (by Priscilla Shirer), Priscilla talked about the desires of our hearts.  She quoted the life verse of my high school years, a verse I still treasure very much:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.   (Psalm 37:4)

When I was young I thought that this meant if I spent as much time as possible with the Lord, and truly made him my joy, then he would give me the things I wanted out of life.  This is partially true.  Yet there is a greater concept hidden in this verse, one that Priscilla brought to light:  as we seek God, making him our utmost priority, he changes the desires of our hearts to fit his will for our lives.

No matter what our desires are, if we refuse to relinquish them to God this indicates the same effect on our character:  worship of the desire, rather than of Christ.  We cling to our hopes and dreams because we are afraid that if we give them up God will never give them back. This is not true.  Not all of our desires need be changed.  But it is not for us to decide which need changing and which remain the same; our duty is to seek the Lord with all our heart, mind and strength, allowing him to do with our dreams as he will.

So many people long to know ‘the will of God’; yet I wonder how many actually yield their hearts’ desires up to him for his purposes.  I know I refused him many times.  We think we know what we want and that submitting our longings to God will result in never seeing them come to fruition.  This is fear.  God cannot work with fear, but he can work with faith!

This is the truth:  God has a will for each of us.  If we intend to follow his will we have to seek him, know him, hear him, and obey him.  By doing this we draw so close to God that our heart is united to his, and our desires naturally change to fit his plan for our life.  It isn’t painful and sudden; it is a gradual transformation of our heart’s atmosphere.  The painful part can be the initial decision to surrender.

If anyone would come after me, let her deny herself and take up her cross and follow me.  For whoever would save her life will lose it, but whoever loses her life for my sake will find it. (Matt. 16:24-25)

In order to have ‘that which is truly life’ (1 Tim. 6:19) we have to give up that which we think is life.  Faith believes that God’s will for us is better than anything we can manufacture ourselves.  Faith makes the desires of the heart come true.

The lyrics are:  I have a hope/I have a future/I have a destiny that is yet awaiting me/My life’s not over, a new beginning’s just begun/I have a hope/I have this hope”

The chorus then begins, “I will yet praise him/My great redeemer/I will yet stand up/And give him glory with my life/He takes my darkness and he turns it into light/I will yet praise him, my Lord my God.”

Every time I hear that song it revives my heart from any feelings of anxiety or hopelessness.  Sometimes it comes to mind in the shower or when I am working on school.  Often it comes to mind when I am feeling alone or without direction.  It is a song of joyful declaration that hope is always there as long as God is.  God will be with us for eternity — therefore hope will be as well!

I have hopes for a lot of things.  As I have been working through my devotional, Discerning the Voice of God, I realize how many dreams and goals I tell the Lord about.  I have so much that burdens my heart, that I want to see accomplished or to accomplish myself.  Sometimes my faith fails me and I begin to wonder when my hopes will be fulfilled… if ever.

Priscilla Shirer said in my book that while the righteous woman trusts God to fulfill his word, the proud woman  (self-reliant) depends on herself to bring things to pass.  She ends up distressed, hurt, wondering, and confused.  I realize now how often I have submitted a dream to God and then rather than simply pursue the duties he has placed before me today, I have tried to manipulate my dream into existence prematurely.  I have been self-reliant rather than walking by faith.

The verse she referenced was Habakkuk 2:3, a new favorite that I had never read before:

The vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail.  Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come; it will not delay.

That is hope.  That is a future!  We have a destiny awaiting us that no one can take away except ourselves. Only we can shorthand God by refusing to let him work.  Only we can keep him from leading us on by stubbornly pulling against his goodwill.  I don’t know about you, but I want a future and a hope, and I am not going to try to run my own life if it means forfeiting that future.

Someone still does.  Although it’s hard for us to see past the external sometimes, God’s eyes pierce through every layer of makeup and wardrobe to the hidden intentions of the heart.  What a girl wears reflects where her heart is.  If her investment is in her outward appearance alone, the Lord won’t find much else beneath it.

Feeling insecure about beauty is such an issue for girls that people like Oprah, Angelina Jolie and other celebrities have tried to address the issue.  There have been books written, doctors consulted, medicines prescribed — whatever it takes.  Ultimately, though, it’s a heart issue.  Deep inside every girl wants to know she is beautiful.  Society presents a form of beauty that girls are influenced to obtain, even though it is unreachable.  Many girls are left feeling inadequate and unattractive, doubting their identity and struggling against God’s truth.

God’s truth is what should be the influencing factor.  This is the truth:

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”  (Gen. 1:27)

This truth proves that we are made in the likeness of God.  Because of this we are beautiful, because God is beautiful. What is more, when we ridicule and doubt God’s handiwork, we are telling him that he is not adequate; that we are not a beautiful replica of him.  When we conform to society’s standards for beauty, placing our trust in them, God’s standard becomes obselete to us.

Because you are made in his image, you are a lovely creation.  Never doubt God’s handiwork!

I was standing in line at the ROT the next week, my meal card in hand, when a young man nearby seemed to try to catch my eye.  He was looking at me like he knew me, but I was sure I had never seen him before.  I ignored his efforts and thought I must look like someone else to him, until he said, “Hi Phylicia.” Who IS this guy? I questioned myself as I flashed a smile and gave a generic “Hello!”  He must have realized I didn’t recognize him because he said, “It’s Kaden — remember me?”  ”Ooooohhhh!  I am so sorry!  I didn’t know who you were!”  We had a good laugh out of the ordeal.  Although I knew Kaden, I didn’t recognize his face in a crowd.  I didn’t know him.

I think it’s often this way between a girl and God.  We can know God, but we can miss out on knowing God.  We know things about him, sit down to lunch with him now and then, but between meetings we forget what his face looks like.  We don’t remember his character, and when other people surround us we don’t recognize him among them. It’s easy to rush past without stopping to acknowledge our greatest Friend.

When we don’t know our God we miss out on his power.  There is no way to understand faith if we don’t understand the Person we have faith in. I discovered this when I would pray.  I have asked for guidance, direction, strength, hope — whatever — but am left wondering if I am going to receive these gifts.  I doubt, struggle, and am conflicted over the truth of who God is.  But when I know who God is I don’t have to wonder anymore.

I looked up some verses to discover what God says about himself.  These have helped me in my walk with Him:

“Hear O [daughter]; the Lord your God, the Lord is One.”  (Deut. 6:4)

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you our of the land of [sin], out of the house of slavery.”  (Ex. 20:2)

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…”  (Ps. 23:1)

“The Lord is my Light and my salvation… the Lord is the stronghold of my life.”  (Ps. 27:1)

“And one called to another and said, ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts.’”  (Is. 6:3)

“The Lord is slow to anger and great in power and the Lord will by no means clear the guilty… The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, he knows those who take refuge in him.”  (Nahum 1:3,7)

“I love you O Lord my strength.  The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”  (Ps. 18:1-2)

“His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”  (Is. 9:6)

“God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”  (1 Jn. 4:16)

“Behold, I am coming soon… I am the Alpha and Omega, the first and last, the beginning and the end… the root and descendant of David, the bright morning star.”  (Rev. 19:12, 16)

Letting these descriptions of God’s character color our perception of him will help us to trust him more fully every day.  When you know someone well, you recognize their value in their life and you won’t overlook them, like I did to Kaden.  We never want to overlook God.  Knowing him will be the most valuable investment we can make in our own lives.