Posted By Phylicia on October 16, 2009

It has been on of those days.  Not just one of ‘those’ days, but one those DAYS!  It started out last night as I fell asleep over a broadcasting assignment that was due today.  Then my phone rang five times in the three hours I slept (I have never been that popular), which by the final ring brought out an ungodly emotion in me that my roommates have probably never seen before.  Apologies were necessary.  I guess I was still tired because I slept through my alarm and through my English class as well, waking up just in time to race through the rest of my day.

But now… now I am in my dorm room, alone, with a cup of tea and a bag of granola made by my gourmet cousin Livvy over at LivLoveLaugh.  It’s the weekend, and I couldn’t be more delighted.

With all that said, I am really not keen on going to dinner at the present.  I need to, because of my meal plan, but I don’t really want to see people right now.  I love them, but I just am not that full of energy at this moment.

The ‘Rot can be intimidating:  walking into a dining hall full of people.  I have always struggled with insecurity and going to eat where everyone can observe you, and you know you will see at least forty of your closest acquaintances, can be a little unnerving.  Yet at the same time it’s been the best thing for me.

Insecurity and pride go hand in hand, because insecurity is a product of over-focus on self. When we think everyone is looking at us we think we are really worth that much attention — when in reality, we aren’t!  Not to say that we aren’t lovely each in our own way, but none of us are so worthy of the world’s adoration that we need to be concerned about the entourage awaiting us at the dining hall.  Nobody is as concerned about how you look as you are.

There’s a mentality shift necessary to achieve a right attitude toward others as a Christian woman.  The selfish mind is fixed on itself, rotating in an endless circle of “I look good -> I feel confident -> People will like me -> I will be secure -> I need to look good”.  The mind that is fixed on others, however, ceases to consider how the body looks because it is seeking to bless others.  Oh, I struggle with this!

Insecurity is only overcome by replacing the “Here I am!” attitude with the “There you are!” mentality.  This heart-attitude filters all our conversations, thoughts, and goals when it comes to relationships of every kind.  It isn’t about how much I can tell about myself in one sitting, or about how many laughs I can get or give — it’s about seeking people out to make their day better.  And not for us.  For Christ.

Categories: Singleness/Dating
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